Saturday: H.L. Crawdad will (finally) give that essay on The Bridge over the River Kwai. (Yes, it's another of those whoops-I-way-missed-my-deadline essays!)
After that: A Bright Shining Lie, by Neil Sheehan. Exclusive review!
And after that....(drum roll)
Heart of Darkness!
Of course, I'm not sure what it's about yet, but....
DUNE
Author: Frank Herbert
A science-fiction novel; first published in 1965.
(Rating: 5 Stars; objectionable material in book: use of drugs, sexual themes including homosexuality, extensive violence, pyschology that conflicts with Catholic teaching)
PLOT SUMMARY
It's Muhammad with laser guns! Seriously, even I couldn't escape the conclusion that Dune is based upon the emergence of Islam. However, instead of the Angel Gabriel, however, a series of supernatural coincidences, skillfully-planned military campaigns, and daring deeds makes the son of a duke, Paul Atriedes, leader of a fierce, tough band of desert men, the Fremen, sworn to spread their religion across the galaxy and turn mankind upside down (or spill its collective guts). The story is enhanced by lots of drug abuse and combat.
CHATTERING ABOUT THE BOOK
A little detail on Frank Herbert. He published this book in 1963, about the time LSD and similar hallucinogens were discovered and began to be produced. He also used them.
This accounts for the major role that "melange" and various other drugs have in the story. The purpose of these drugs is to get into the subconscious, non-rational core of mankind; Paul's success in doing so gives him the power to see into the future, although not completely.
Paul, as you may have guessed, is not a very pious sort. He is driven by a "terrible purpose" of unknown origin, not by anything resembling love of God. Yet this "terrible purpose" seems to have godlike control over the events of this world; past, present, and future. Over the course of the book, it becomes obvious that most of the major characters were unconsciously preparing for the "messiah." Despite this unseen influence, Paul gets to choose what he does; up to the very end he knows he can be killed and defeated. Free will, of course, is necessary in any story, especially fantasies like Dune; without free will, most stories would be dull as instruction manuals.
One thing that impressed me about Dune was its "world-building." It may seem unbelievable, but swords and laser guns coexist in Dune. Herbert pulls this off by inventing "shields," a kind of force-field that, when shot with a laser, destroys both the shield-wearer and the laser-wielder in a nuclear reaction. The shields only let slow-moving substances pass through; it is therefore necessary to gradually pass a blade through this invisible wall to kill your enemy. This explanation also gives Herbert an opportunity to describe some very interesting sword fights.
With all the other cool gadgets and talents featured in the book, Herbert gives a more-or-less believable explanation, and remains consistent. The organizations of Dune, such as the feudal government and the Bene Genesserit (an all-female combination of the KGB, a pyschological institute, and an order of nuns) are also developed well.
(A parenthesis: Unlike a certain, larger fantasy, known for its huge appendices, Dune has only 40 pages of explanatory material at the back; however, only the glossary is actually necessary for enjoying the book. In fairness, the unnamed fantasy doesn't require you to read the appendices either. I strongly recommend reading the glossary first, referring to it when necessary, then reading the other appendices once you feel like it.)
However, I have to say my favorite part of Dune is the villain, Baron Vladimir Harkonnen. A very fat, disturbingly homosexual, subtly wise, and Machiavellian man, the Baron is a perfect embodiment of evil, and an interesting character to boot. His interactions with his two nephews and advisors are tense and disturbingly revealing of the Baron's true character. Best of all, he suffers a grimly humorous demise, which I naturally will not spoil by describing.
Unfortunately, the dialogue - especially that of the 'good' characters - tends to have annoying pyschological talk, necessary to the plot but grating to the mind. Herbert also feels the need to add some damned awful free verse to the book - again, the verse makes sense in the plot line but rubs me the wrong way.
(Another parenthesis: Herbert refers to a drug-music combination called "semuta," a sort of super-sedative that creates "sustained ecstasy." This drug-music idea, oddly enough, always reminds me of Jefferson Airplane.)
It's a weird book in many ways, and has reams of morally repugnant events scattered throughout. However, the plot is both exciting and believable, and the main antagonist is an especially interesting character, thus making Dune a very enjoyable book. If you are into science fiction or like to read long fantasies, I definitely recommend Dune.
H. L. Crawdad is a freelance columnist whose articles have appeared in the Mobile Register, the Houston Chronicle, The San Antonio-Express-News and other newspapers throughout the Southern US. He has 1 wife and approximately 59 children, all of whom have moved out. In May of 2007, he received the Mudball Award, given by the Library of Congress to honor talent among crustacean writers, for his short story "The Shell of an Idea." This essay was never before published, and is copyrighted ©2007, H. L. Crawdad & Works.
Remember that a CERTAIN PERSON once said he would review Dune, The Bridge over the River Kwai, and Heart of Darkness for your enjoyment and enlightenment? Well, that guy hasn't done it, so I'll do it. It's about time, you know. Dune is already coming down the chute, and with luck the other two will come down soon.
H.L. Crawdad
I'm not actually in the NRA. H.L. is.
We haven't heard, seen, or osmoted anything concerning the Church of Jumbuck for quite a while. As you remember, the last news was that the Sucrose Inquisition was after them. Perhaps they got sick in mid-attack.
Here's some pictures:
The "Hatchet Window" of my parish.
The enclosed bit rather looks like a knife, does it not?
More pictures in another post. It's hard to handle these pictures and text.
Important News! I read The Wealth of Nations! Many the time I feared they would find my bones by the eBook I was reading it from, but I finished it. All five books. I grew to like it, but I'm not reading it again until they make me study classical economics in college. And it's got five stars now. Once I get back on my feet, I'll write a review.
Another Important News! I will be visiting Christendom College in July. When it comes along, you'll hear all about me and Crawdad's adventures in real time, via this blog! You'll hear all about the quaint customs of the locals of Virginia, the incidents and studies at Christendom, and (hopefully) a bit on Washington, D.C., where I hope to visit. Speaking of the locals, aren't they the ones who invented wampum?
Maybe I should stop making fun of Virginians. They started the Civil War, and I've got relatives up there.
I read America: The Last Best Hope by William J. Bennett while I was sick. It's a history, but only the first installment is published. It goes from discovery to World War I. It gets five stars (although the style occasionally is annoying). And it's awful informative.
Well, that's all. Happy belated St. Patrick's Day and Erin Go Bragh!
Dear readers of this blog,
H. L. Crawdad, an Arachno-syndicalist turned writer and good friend of mine, offered to post a book review on The Third World War on my blog. As it would save me a lot of non-renewable brain cells, I accepted, deciding it couldn’t possibly bother you readers. Then I decided it wasn’t fair to pop writing of unknown quality at you without warning. So I read Crawdad’s essay, and found it quite as good as what I regularly write. So I could rest easy again. Enjoy!
Histor the Wise
The War That Wasn’t
“The Third World War” is a fictional book about a war in 1985. But, whoever wrote it – apparently someone named General Sir John Hackettetal – is convinced that it happened. He is so convinced of his truth, he fabricates evidence for it. One example: the first chapter of the book cites a history of the U.S. Cavalry written in 1986, some eight years after the publication of the book itself. Perhaps time runs different in England, where “The Third World War” was written.
The plot is as unlikely as the evidence. Two nations – the USA and Russia – are at war, and apparently they don’t like each other. Why they hate each other Hackettetal never tells us. So from the beginning, there is no motive provided for anyone’s actions. However, the mistake would be pardonable, IF THE FIGHTING ACTUALLY TOOK PLACE EITHER IN RUSSIA OR THE USA! Instead, the countries (which, for some odd reason, have the nicknames “First World” and “Warsaw Pact” – the latter being a romantic name for a lady crawdad) pay other countries, primarily in Africa and the Middle East, to fight each other with imported weapons and suchlike. Three important countries are South Africa (which the US used to like), Iran (which the USA likes) and Yugoslavia (undecided).
Russia seems to be winning at the beginning, since its African countries are beating South Africa and they have countries close to the USA – specifically Jamaica and Cuba. The US only has Iran (sort-of close by Russia), Western Germany (right by East Germany, which Russia actually owns), and somewhere else, I forget where. France is on both sides, and England is on the USA’s side but doesn’t want to fight anybody. Then England changes its mind, just in time so that Russia can invade Yugoslavia. The USA invades Yugoslavia back and blows up three (3) Russian tanks.
They then call it a victory.
The Russians, however, are worried. After the Second World War (which really happened), they conquered Poland, Czechoslovakia, Ukraine, and East Germany, but now those countries want to rebel. The Russians decide to keep them from rebelling by conquering some more countries. They also have a big argument about military organization, revolving around whether lieutenants should think or not. I say let them think; it can’t hurt.
Anyway, they invade West Germany, trying to get all the way to the Dutch coastline and the tip of France. Apparently France and Russia have an understanding. Fortunately, they don’t get that far, and the Poles rebel. In retaliation for this traitorous rebellion, the Russians fire a nuclear missile at Birmingham, England. The Americans fire another missile at Minsk, in the Ukraine. Then a bunch of Russian officials try to kill each other, somebody lets Ukraine and Poland free, and Russia collapses. America wins and Hackettetal starts talking about riots in the English countryside. That anticlimax is the finest part of the book, from a literary standpoint. I do not read from a literary standpoint.
The writing style is very complex and boring. It reminds me of when I was owned by an editor of encyclopedias. He would sit at work reading the Encyclopedia Americana out loud, and I would crouch in his office aquarium and long for death. However, the book did talk about tanks and armored cars and bombs and chemical weapons, which I find rather interesting. There was an exciting bit about Russians sneaking into an airbase in Germany and shooting people. Unfortunately, an equal and opposite effect was achieved by the bit on television during the war. (Apparently wars are a good way to make Western movies popular.) Then it has a bunch of appendices. I didn’t bother to read them. If they were worth reading, why weren’t they in the main part instead of the appendix section?
I don’t want to be mean to General Sir John Hackettetal. (Especially since he probably gets teased about his name and all). Most history books – and I have read many – are boring. A fictional history book would probably be even more boring than usual. But this one actually makes a good bedtime book, as the quote below shows:
“In NORTHAG, British experimentation was proceeding on lines closely related to the new concept now under discussion in Germany, with light anti-tank defenses exploiting the possibility of ATGW deployed far forward. The system of frontier defense thus created, with counter-penetration forces deployed in further depth, was beginning to be thought of , by many British and some German officers, as a possible replacement for, or at least a modification of, the full doctrine of ‘forward defence’, however the term was interpreted, which had hitherto prevailed. It was still largely experimental, but over several years of continuous exercises it had been showing considerable promise.”
The Third World War shall never again leave my nightstand.
H. L. Crawdad is a freelance columnist whose articles have appeared in the Mobile Register, the Houston Chronicle, The San Antonio-Express-News and other newspapers throughout the Southern US. He has 1 wife and approximately 59 children, all of whom have moved out. This essay was never before published, and is copyrighted ©2007, H. L. Crawdad & Works.
Wow! What a Mardi Gras that was!
Such a Mardi Gras, in fact, that, well, I only woke up again Friday morning*...and had a backlog of school...and suddenly realized that "I hadn't given anything up for Lent!"
So I gave up blogging, along with web-surfing and reading other people's blogs.
Anyhow, it was a pretty good week. I concentrated on my Spanish and Latin backlog, got those trimmed to manageable size, and kept slogging through An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations - which spends a gad-awful amount of time talking about corn. I have actually started to like the book a lot, but it's hard reading. This reading, however, was at the expense of necessary study for the FAITH AND HISTORY CONTEST, which occurs sometime after Lent and offers bragging rights and a gift certificate to whomever can identify the guy whose handmaiden was killed by the Benjaminites.
I also took a look at Beowulf, which after about 1400 years still is "relevant." The moral (so far) is:
If you have some 12-foot guy in your neighborhood who doesn't like your revelry in a great hall, get out of the hall before he comes along and starts scarfing you down like popcorn. And -whatever you do - don't offer sacrifices to pagan gods, 'cause that doesn't work.
Oh, and I applied for a summer program at a Certain College. I won't say where, 'cause they haven't approved me yet. However, I'm confident I'll be accepted.
And now some comments from Chez Histor:
H. L. Crawdad says "Hi, y'all." He would lik to voice his disagreements with me concerning a sociological matter on this blog, but I told him nyet. He's currently working on an essay, "The War That Wasn't: A Review of The Third World War by Gen. Hackett, et al." Expect it next Sunday.
The Church of Jumbuck is tootin' along just fine. 45 Parishoners, 6 of which are not livestock. "It's exciting that all these sheep and cows are coming together in jumbucky unity," says Rev. Ovis Aries. "Sure, we comprise 0.00006 percent of the livestock of Texas. But we are the vanguard of the new Herd Movement."
The Sucrose Inquisition was not expected, yet
[Here the post ends, Histor having somehow disappeared or ceased typing. I shall publish it, hoping that Histor (wherever he may be) may not mind my taking the liberty.
H.L. Crawdad]
*Actually, no, I didn't get a hangover. My parents would never let me do that. I'm just pulling your leg. And I woke up Thursday morning like normal people. "Normal people" sleep in sleeping bags and wake at 5:30 when their alarm plays "Three is a Magic Number"
