Um...I wouldn't recommend this, NASA.......

Think, "Frank Poole."

Random notes:

"...seemingly bottomless pit in the Mexican state of Tamaulipas, known to be at
least 925 feet deep..."

Why is "the Mexican state of Tamaulipas" in the middle of the sea, anyway? Do they have really bad government surveyors, maybe?

"...Europa, a moon of Jupiter thought to contain liquid water beneath miles of
ice — and possibly complex forms of life..."

Obviously, if there are aliens beneath the ice, they were put there so we could find them, maybe bring them home and breed them as pets or livestock. And then have them attack us in a postapocalyptic world - oh, never mind.

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