Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The ZOMBIES are coming!

Alright folks, basic tips:

1. Anything that isn't a zombie is human, and retains human dignity.
2. Zombies are to be killed as aggressors against the innocent, but are not culpable for their actions.
3. Zombies that are no longer animated are to receive the respect due to the bodies of the dead.
4. Recommended weapons: shotguns (loaded with Foster slugs or buckshot), rifles of .308 caliber or larger, pistols of .44 caliber or larger, anti-tank weapons of all sorts, Molotov Cocktails, hand grenades, large cars. Preferred weapon: the FLAMETHROWER!

Survive - and don't be bitten.

"Today, law enforcement in Orem has enshrined itself as the laughing stock of our country by prosecuting a 70-year-old great-grandmother...

...for not watering her lawn."

Drag out the principle of subsidarity, and we discover that whether one waters his lawn or not is a question best answered at the family level, or at most the neighborhood level. Certainly not the city level.

If I had my way, watering lawns would be discouraged in polite society. (I mean watering them with water. Don't be crude.)

The three-step status reduction system:

1. Kill lots of people.
2. Deflect the blame and punishment to other people/things.
3. Become loathed.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The gist of it: two people meet each other online, complain about their lousy marriages, fall in love, then discover they're married to each other.

The most remarkable quote is:

Adnan, 32, said: "I still find it hard to believe that Sweetie, who wrote such
wonderful things, is actually the same woman I married and who has not said a
nice word to me for years."

Technically speaking, she has been saying these nice words to you for years.

If it weren't for the fact that this all is ending in a divorce, I would find the whole incident extremely funny.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Gaudemus! My 12th grade books have arrived!

Including a somewhat infamous "American Government" book from A Beka!

It favors Prohibition, something which I do not happen to favor. (I don't even favor this Prohibition.) Here's a choice quote from page 169 of this gem (American Government in Christian Perspective, 2nd edition, 1997, A Beka Books, Pensacola, FL.)

"During the Prohibition Era (1920-1933), God blessed the nation in many ways."

I shall name some things from the Prohibition era.

Sinclair Lewis
Winnie the Pooh
Al Capone
short skirts
Charles Lindbergh
the Tommy Gun
Margaret Sanger
hip flasks
Mickey Mouse cartoons

Draw your own conclusions.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Let me try to disturb you:

Suppose the world's largest country collapses into anarchy because its population sank too low?

We'd probably notice what was going on, though...

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

In Memoriam: all victims of the September 11th attack.

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and may Thy perpetual light shine upon them.

Uh...wasn't religion here the whole time?

Here's my fisk of the whole thing.

Globalization is turning out to be both a curse and a blessing:

How ironic that you say on the anniversary of September 11th.

During times of limitless communication, everything seems possible -- but nothing is stable. Whether they want to or not, people are swept away by the current of change.

I learned that when I was 15. Or maybe even earlier.

The search for orientation in this world is immense and many people look to religion for support and answers.

Bah humbug. I knew that when I was seven.
Seriously, the reason folks look to religion for support and answers is that religion is the only thing that gives us answers to certain questions, such as "What must I do to be happy?"

Be it the pope, who is celebrated like a pop star in the West,

BXVI is my homie!

or Islamist groups that are finding more followers in the Arab world,

Come ON! Tell us something about the Islamist groups other than that they're growing - we already knew that!

religion is once again an issue.

This is where knowing history would help.
Religion was an issue during the 1980's (see "Poland," "Iran,") and during the Vietnam War (see "Buddhist-Catholic Relations in Vietnam"),to name only two examples.

It gives them spiritual strength.

Undefined pronouns - "it" may be "religion" or "an issue," and "them" refers to a plural verb approximately four clauses away.

But religion is also a power that feeds conflicts and is abused for political interests.

I can name two other powers that feed conflicts and are abused for political interests. (Hint: one has to do with economics, the other with biology.)

What does this return to religion mean in times of globalization?

It means you won't be able to ignore the fact that the vast majority of the world has religious beliefs.

In features, interviews and analyses, Deutsche Welle tries to find answers in this dossier. Please click on the links below to join the search.

"Deutsche Welle tries to find answers....join the search." Sounds like Deutsche Welle is a character from a police drama.

What (you might wonder) possesses me to post this on the sixth anniversary of September 11th?

Well, because the attacks were motivated by religion (specifically, Islam - although a long-suppressed grudge against the West had a great deal to do with it as well). And, if this article means anything, it means that the editors of DW know little about religion, and therefore can hardly be much help in explaining what we have to do to prevent this from happening again.

At least they didn't ask us to convert to Islam. And they didn't use the word "Inquisition," to the great delight of the Sucrose Inquisition.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

This is why I need to study economics.

So we expand the Panama Canal changes the economic setup of my hometown, Dallas?

Strikes me as bizarre, but I suppose it all makes sense...

Unlike the Recovering Dissident, I carry nothing into mass....

except for a rosary, a handkerchief, and some GI Joe guns.

Just sayin'.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

"Part of the trick, too, is recognizing the continuities between pagan and modern habits and learning to call them by their traditional names."

An interesting post on First Things about (as the quote implies) the similarities between modern and pagan culture.

Here's a few modern habits with traditional names:

Consulting a psychic - Consulting the oracle.
Reading one's horoscope - taking the auspices.

Come up with more.

Song: "I Hung My Head"

Today I listened to Johnny Cash's song "I Hung My Head." Incredible, tragic song. Not to mention that the accompanying bass is perfectly suited to the lyrics.

I Hung My Head

- sung by Johnny Cash

Early one morning,
With time to kill
I borrowed Jebb's rifle
And sat on a hill
I saw a lone rider
Crossing the plain
I drew a bead on him
To practice my aim
My brother's rifle
Went off in my hand,
A shot rang out
Across the land
The horse, he kept running
The rider was dead
I hung my head
I hung my head

I set off running
To wake from the dream
My brother's rifle
Went into the Sheen
I kept on running
Into the south lands
That's where they found me
My head in my hands
The sheriff he asked me
Why had I run
And then it came to me
Just what I had done
And all for no reason
Just one piece of lead
I hung my head
I hung my head

Here in the court house
The whole town was there
I see the judge
High up in the chair
Explain to the court room
What went through you mind
And we'll ask the jury
What verdict they find
I felt the power
Of death over life
I orphaned his children
I widowed his wife
I begged their forgiveness
I wish I was dead
I hung my head
I hung my head
I hung my head
I hung my head

Early one morning
With time to kill
I see the gallows
Up on a hill
And out in the distance
A trick of the brain
I see a lone rider
Crossing the plain
And he'd come to fetch me
To see what they'd done
And we'd ride together
To kingdom come
I prayed for God's mercy
For soon I'd be dead
I hung my head
I hung my head
I hung my head
I hung my head

Dark and disturbing, but a great song.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

The Sucrose Inquisition wants to say:

Even we are never this hypocritical!

We may be cruel, we may stick squashes into the garbage disposal, we may torment sheep and Monty Python characters, but we've never applied a double standard to the celebration of the Mass!

- The Sucrose Inquisition

The Anglican Church isn't looking so good right now.

I'm kind of amused how some guy in Washington, D.C. is so certain that "The idea that the average African is looking to cause a split over homosexuality is ridiculous." Has he spent a significant amount of time with average Africans?

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Break out the fatted calf...

I finished 11th grade today!

Now all I have to do is start 12th grade and I'll be done with high school! Once done, I'll do college, and then maybe graduate school, and....oh well. The main thing is that I have finished 11th grade!

This goes out to Seton Home Study School:

Sunday, September 2, 2007

31 down, 19 to go


by Pierre Boulle

(Rating: 4 stars; objectionable material in book: a main character is alcoholic, considerable and diverse violence, censored obscenities and uncensored racial slurs.)

(Important note: the book ends differently from the film The Bridge on the River Kwai.)

Plot Synopsis

“...the combination of individual characteristics which contributed to Colonel Nicholson’s personality (sense of duty, observance of ritual, obsession with discipline, and love of the job well done)...could not be better described than by the single word snobbery.”

The story begins with the British Army Colonel Nicholson’s battalion in captivity in Siam, forced to build a railroad bridge over the Kwai River which separates Malaysia from the rest of Asia. The Japanese need it built within six months so they can continue advancing into the continent. Colonel Saito, the Japanese commander of the project, is overwhelmed by the task. He drinks heavily and abuses the prisoners to relieve his frustration. He thus comes into conflict with Nicholson, who insists upon Saito obeying the Geneva conventions. Nicholson's men take advantage of the conflict to sabotage the construction as much as possible.

Nicholson has no power over Saito, but is a far stronger man. (It's hard to win a battle of wills if you're a alcoholic, I suppose.) Even after vicious beatings, underfeeding, and solitary confinement, Nicholson demands Saito respect his battalion’s rights as POWs. Eventually Saito caves in, and lets Nicholson direct his soldiers’ work. In response, he stops the sabotage and makes his men build the bridge right, making it a masterpiece of its time and place (and more useful to the Japanese – a fact Colonel Nicholson doesn’t mind in the least).

Meanwhile, a three-man sabotage team from the British “Plastics and Destruction Co., Ltd.” (based on "Force 136," the Southeast Asian branch of the British Special Operation Executive) heads out to destroy this bridge. They find the bridge and prepare explosive charges, which they will set off on the day the bridge is opened to traffic. The charges are placed on the piles of the bridge, slightly below water level. The saboteurs put their least experienced member, a young engineer named Joyce, in charge of detonating the main charge. Joyce, who spent his adult life trying to redesign a bridge girder so it would use less metal, loses his mind and becomes obsessed with “DESTRUCTION.”

And then the River Kwai’s water level goes down a couple feet, exposing the charges to view.


The Bridge Over the River Kwai is best at suspense. (Which is why my plot synopsis is left incomplete.) The ending of the story is perfectly consistent with the book yet unforeseeable. It is also rather disturbing.

However, the two main characters, Col. Nicholson and Joyce, are a little unbelievable. I doubt there are that many colonels who would switch allegiance, aid in the downfall of their nation’s forces, and deliberately thwart said nation’s military, simply because of their devotion to duty and good workmanship, and I would expect Joyce had something in his life more important than redesigning a bridge girder, something which would have kept him from losing his mind.

Anyway, both Nicholson and Joyce lose their minds, and instead devote themselves to their work – Nicholson to building a good bridge, Joyce to blowing up the bridge. In Joyce’s case it’s a reaction to a feeling of futility (who wants to spend his life redesigning one single kind of bridge girder?) and in Nicholson’s case it’s a desire to make a name for himself. Neither have any other purpose to their work. And therefore they both end badly.

To borrow an idea from EegahInc...

I will end this with a quote from the Catechism.

The sign of man's familiarity with God is that God places him in the garden. There he lives "to till it and keep it". Work is not yet a burden, but rather the collaboration of man and woman with God in perfecting the visible creation.

Follow that and you won't suffer Nicholson's fate. Or Joyce's.

(I promise.)