Scattershooting

We got snow today! Yep, East Texas gets that cold!





The EoD launched 3 cruise missiles into the nation of L. L's declaration of war is likely, but no less than 10 (of 30) GAAF aircraft were destroyed. The GAAF has a piddling 19 planes now - mostly F14's and F105's.



Time for a ground offensive from the GAAF, perchance?

While the Pope is in Turkey, let us consider dialogue:

Al Quaeda to Pope - Crusader!

Gee, who has the guns in this "crusader campaign?"

Maybe the Swiss Guard will stage a coup d'etat, or Opus Dei will send out a hitman, or Benedict will sic the ghost of Torquemada on the president of Turkey, or...

Um...

Reminds me of something. When our Lord was captured, he said he could call out a legion of angels. But he refused.

You think Muhammad would have turned a legions of angels down like that? Hey, I would have, if only to check out what weapons angels use{1}...







{1} J.R.R. Tolkien claims they fought with songs. When will they do something about that man?

All ye lovers of gore and explosions...

The War has kicked back into gear! The GAAF (Green Army Air Force) flew 2 missions early this morning, and O-Town is considering an investment in Surface-to-Air Missiles.

Quick summary: 2 GAAF F16's against 2 TAF (Tan Air Force, Tan being color of O-Town) J35's. 2 J35's shot down; 1 F16 shot down. Rumor that shot-down pilot was listening to Billy Idol and thus distracted.

4 GAAF F105's against a radar/AAA emplacement next to the piano. Both targets destroyed; no casualties.

The TAF promises to make the GAAF sorry they dared. More later.

(Can't understand this? Read this link.)

Newfound Link!

To The Man in Black's website, no less!

Another Chesterquote!

I finished "The Flying Inn" and started on "Manalive." "The Flying Inn" contains the famous Song of Quoodle ("For they haven't any noses/ the fallen sons of Eve") among other funny poems.

This, however, is from Manalive:

"He undoubtedly had brains; and perhaps it was not his fault if they were the kind of brains that most men desire to analyze with a poker."

(Referring to a Dr. Warner, who wrote about the "probable existence of pain in the lower animals." Tsk, tsk.)

The Bible is a strange book

Case in point, folks - Nehemiah 3:14.

"Malchijah the son of Rechab, ruler of the district of Bethhaccherem, repaired the Dung Gate; he rebuilt it and set its doors, its bolts, and its bars."

Methinks the OSHA should investigate whether Malchijah took proper precautions for his workmen.

(Before you congratulate me: I read Nehemiah for Religion class.)

The wages of sin is death,

Whereas the wages of gluttony is stomachache.

I am currently reading the book "The Flying Inn," by G.K. Chesterton. It's about two men who roam England with a barrel of rum and a sign from an inn, avoiding the enforcement of a British Prohibition (enforced, oddly enough, by champagne-sipping noblemen). Good so far.

This is the point when prudence is expected to overrule desire. 10:43, Sunday night, means "Go to Bed."

God bless.

Beauty is a reflection of God...

As anyone whose church looks more like a barracks knows. This is nice:

but I have an objection. Doesn't that look a bit like a shooting gallery - "Shoot the Apostle," I suppose?

THAT'S THE LAST THING I'M ABOUT TO DO, YA HEAR?

I actually like reading "The Prince"

Here's an article about him.

Machiavelli didn't just lower the moral standards; he abolished them. More than a pragmatist, he was an anti-moralist. The only relevance he saw morality having to success was to stand in its way.

Exactly.

Somehow it sounds familiar.

Read this thing of Roman Sacristan's

The capitalist system was made for man, not man for the capitalist system.

Check out this old gem!

From the same folks that published the great prayer, "The Peanut Butter Cracker Blessing!"

A prayer that sprang from the fertile mind of yours truly, no less!

The Pope is going to Turkey, as you know...

But instead of doing this, I recommend he ride in:

THIS!

But it is a little, er, violent. Scratch that.

This was considered, but dismissed:

The Pope's response (according to CNN): "Ah...we're going to Turkey, not to Alpha Centauri, your Eminence..."

Priestcraft

The crowd waited silently, staring upwards towards the temple. In its entranceway a woman, wearing a flowing white robe and a hair net, mounted a three-legged stand. As they looked up, they saw her silhouetted against the dark-blue sky like a female Titan. She cried,

"I WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY!"

An awestruck cry came from every lip. "Surely," they thought, "Surely there is no god like Scientia!"

A Puzzlement

When I was a boy
World was better spot
What was so was so
What was not was not

Now I am a man
World have changed a lot
Some things nearly so!
Others nearly not!

There are times I almost think
I am not sure of what I absolutely know
Very often find confusion
In conclusion I concluded long ago

In my head are many facts
That, as a student, I have studied to procure,
In my head are many facts.
Of which I wish I was more certain
I
Was
Sure!

Is a puzzlement!

Shall I join with other nations in alliance?
If allies are weak, am I not best alone?
If allies are strong with power to protect me,
Might they not protect me out of all I own?

Is a danger to be trusting one another
One will seldom want to do what other wishes
But unless someday somebody trust somebody -
There'll be nothing left on earth -
Excepting fishes!

There are times I almost think
Nobody sure of what he absolutely know!
Everybody find confusion
In conclusion he concluded long ago!
And it puzzle me to learn
That tho' a man may be in doubt of what he know,
Very quickly he will fight -
He'll fight -
to prove that what he
Does
Not
Know
Is
So!

Oh-h-h-h-h-h!
Sometimes I think that people going mad!
Ah-h-h-h-h-h!
Sometimes I think that people not so bad!

But not matter what I think
I must go on living life.
As leader of my kingdom I must go forth,

Be father to my children
and husband to each wife
Etcetera, etcetera, and so forth...

If my Lord in Heaven, Buddha, show the way
Every day I try to live another day!
If my Lord in Heaven, Buddha, show the way
Every day I do my best for one more day!
BUT!
IS!
A PUZZLEMENT!

(As rendered by Yul Brynner in the film version of "The King and I.")

So, there I was in Costco...

pushing a pallet to get some Gatorade, and suddenly this employee asks me to drop my cellphone.



I have no cellphone.



I am, as those who know me are aware, quite slow on the uptake. So I stopped and tried to figure out what he meant.

"Drop your phone!" the gentleman said again, "Isn't that your phone?"

(In fairness, he was trying to get me to take a free cell phone. I don't know the hows and whys, but it must be said that he was working, not indulging in a weird monomania.)

Now, my pocketknife has a clip to keep it hanging onto the top of my pocket. With typical obtuseness, I gestured to it and explained that it wasn't really a phone, it was...

"No, I mean that!" as he pointed to a pouch on my hip - containing a Leatherman and an high-power flashlight.

I showed it to him, explained that "my dad wouldn't let me have a phone anyways," and, thanking him, moved off.

When you can't whoop "Is a PUZZLEMENT!" at the top of your voice, you laugh. Or so a wise man told me. So I did.

Scariness

Today, my dad, some brothers, and I were at Target looking for a gift for another brother who just had his birthday. While browsing the toy aisle, Dad and I came across a car/toy set. The car was just a Matchbox car; the toy was a small plastic monster - a dinosaur skeleton, a big-clawed Yeti, etc.

Dad said "I don't see the point of playing with that."

After a good deal of rumination and pecan pie, I found the point.

Since children are too young to be sophists, they believe in a world of Good and Evil. The Good people, moreover, should oppose and fight the Bad people. That is well and good.

But they naturally assume the Good People are perfectly good, and the Bad People are perfectly bad. If this belief lasts beyond age 5, trouble ensues.

So, they make the Bad People look evil. Very, very evil. Claws, wicked glares, maevolent smiles, big teeth - the whole works. Point of fact, they don't let them be people - they make them monsters of one sort or another.

Thus, Satan's minions don't get confused with Mr. Jackson, who lives down the street.

Very necessary thing, that.

I hit a joint called Brazos de Dios today

Courtesy of the Center for Essential Education. Lessons learned from the trip:

1. Division of Labor is not really a bad idea. I would rather do a lot of political analyzing and sell it for pottery, barley, and rope than make the pottery, barley, and rope myself. Thanks, Adam Smith.
2. When somebody has a Scots Calvinist in his family tree, he doesn't forget it very quickly.
3. Bluegrass music is the best.
4. American Protestants have better religious songs than American Catholics. Gregorian chant is not American - it came from Europe.
5. Gospel music tends to jibe well with Catholic teaching.
6. All the same, "Amazing Grace" is still the only worthwhile Gospel song.
7. Some people find the difference between Chocolate and Carob important.
8. Apple cider is better than soda.
9. Sorghum is not really for human consumption.
10. Women are the prime beneficiaries of the Industrial Revolution. Weaving, for instance, used to take two women (somehow, never men) operating a large intricate device, weaving 1 inch of fabric every 5 minutes or so. Nowadays, machines weave hundreds of times faster.
11. When the Bible says Goliath had a spear like a weaver's shuttle, it means it was BIG.
12. Protestants, unlike me, use "I feel" when they mean "I decided that the best way to serve God was..."

More later - my sister is pushing me off - PUT DOWN THAT CATTLE PROD, YOUNG LADY!

Though these people sound rather like "Crunchy Cons" in my opinion.

Historians know...

What weird situations some men are in when they make world-shaking decisions.

For instance, this bit from Diogenes. Makes you wonder what they do at the Vatican the rest of the year.

On the Third Secret:

OF COURSE the Pope and Sr. Lucia can't be telling the truth!

OF COURSE it isn't what THEY say it is!

By the way...

I like the comments. No dates, no sources, just claims.

Reminds me of the folks that claim stuff about the Kennedy assassination.

PS. My theory is that the assassination was the creation of a Communist activist named Lee Harvey Oswald. Don't tell anyone.