So, there I was in Costco...

pushing a pallet to get some Gatorade, and suddenly this employee asks me to drop my cellphone.



I have no cellphone.



I am, as those who know me are aware, quite slow on the uptake. So I stopped and tried to figure out what he meant.

"Drop your phone!" the gentleman said again, "Isn't that your phone?"

(In fairness, he was trying to get me to take a free cell phone. I don't know the hows and whys, but it must be said that he was working, not indulging in a weird monomania.)

Now, my pocketknife has a clip to keep it hanging onto the top of my pocket. With typical obtuseness, I gestured to it and explained that it wasn't really a phone, it was...

"No, I mean that!" as he pointed to a pouch on my hip - containing a Leatherman and an high-power flashlight.

I showed it to him, explained that "my dad wouldn't let me have a phone anyways," and, thanking him, moved off.

When you can't whoop "Is a PUZZLEMENT!" at the top of your voice, you laugh. Or so a wise man told me. So I did.