Saturday, December 9, 2006


Last night, the 8th of December, Year of Our Lord 2006, at about 2230 to 2330 Central Standard Time, two small squads of Green Army Regulars and White Guard (of the Tan Army of Ovilla) clashed in Island City, Kitchen County, Region of the House.

The Green squad, entered the city from the south and headed up Stuffing Street to 1st Ricekrispies Parkway. While crossing to 2nd Ricekrispies Parkway, they were fired upon by four White Guards, who had been heading south on Reynold’s Road. A Green sniper* was gunned down, but Green soldiers killed two Guards in return. Pursued by the Greens, the Guards retreated northwards.

Guards open fire on Green Army of Mtown (GAM) Regulars.

Two Green soldiers headed up 2nd Ricekrispies and killed a Guard crossing the intersection between Reynold’s and Ricekrispies. They then reached the intersection and fired at the two remaining Guards. One soldier was slain, but both remaining Guards fell to the Greens’ assault rifles.

The Green forces rapidly secured the city, claiming as booty a bottle of American beer. The capture of the beer seemed to hearten the Green soldiers, who have seen little action recently. “We don’t produce a lot of beer in Mtown.” a Green soldier said. “How can you be a soldier without beer?”

No civilians were reported killed during the firefight; however, the correspondent counted at least a dozen windows broken by gunfire.

A number of Blue Army aircraft – including a former USAF F-117 – flew over Island City during the battle. Why they were there is not certain – they supported neither ground force, although they may have been equipped with reconnaissance cameras.

Island City, noted for its Zipperbag and Icedtea Towers and its widely praised Tex-Mex cusine, is of great strategic importance in the war for Mtown, as it controls the kitchen, and aircraft based there can easily reach any area of the house and backyard.

The generals of Mtown, Otown, and Dallas could not be reached for comment.

Histor the Wise and Lt. Rab Staker, USAF, contributed to this article. Parkland Hospital of Dallas loaned the helicopter from which news photographs were taken.

Photos will have to wait - blogger beta is showing that computers are really allied with Beelzebub.

*Names will not be used in this report, in order to protect the soldiers and their relatives.