Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Things I like about Advent Season #1

"Santa Baby" by...Marilyn Monroe? Oh well, still like it.

Buh-bum.. buh-bum...
Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree, for me
Been an awful good girl
Santa baby so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, a '54 convertible too, light blue,
I'll wait up for you dear
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the fun I've missed,
Think of all the fellows that I haven't kissed
Next year I could be just as good
If you check off my christmas list

Santa baby, I want a yacht and really thats not a lot
Been an angel all year
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa honey, one little thing I really need, the deed
To a platinum mine,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex and cheques,
Sign your x on the line
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and trim my chirstmas tree,
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's
I really do believe in you,
Let's see if you believe in me

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring,
I don't mean on the phone,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry, tonight.

First, the song is sung extremely badly, by a woman with a extremely annoying voice. (You can even smell the cigarette smoke when you hear it on the radio.) Plenty of hip-hop artistas sing worse, but Monroe at least pronounces the words properly.

Second, the song has the proper attitude towards Santa.

Let me explain.

There is a danger of getting contemptuous of "materialist" requests; of thinking that asking God for money, a new car, or cookies is a form of greed. Of course, this is nonsense. Christ says, "ask, and you will receive," with the sole caveat of "if it doesn't imperil your soul." Even more so with Santa. After all, Santa only exists as a vehicle for shifting stuff to other people.

Therefore, Marilyn Monroe is dead right when she begs Santa for a platinum mine.

{Hey, St. Nicholas, if you're reading my blog: Any chance you could nab me a Russian oil well? 11th grade is such a bore.}

Third? Well, it just sounds funny.


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